Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Nothing to offer

There are days I have nothing to post about.  Like today and yesterday.  I think I'm boring some with the same words, same everything.  "Husband continues to decline", or, "Husband has been confused for several days now."

But, this is my life right now.  It's not filled with happy family gatherings, or, summer vacations, or happy outings, or any "normal" events happening in one's life.

My life is consumed with this horrible disease that is robbing my husband of his very life.  This disease has robbed us of everything.  The life we had and the life we envisioned once the kids were grown and gone.

Well, the youngest is leaving in September.  All those plans we had will not be realized.  Ever.  At least, not with husband.

I am not looking forward to Jack leaving, but, crazy as it sounds, I am excited for him too.

Yesterday afternoon, I got to thinking.  "Where will I be a year from now?"  The thought scared me.

How will I be able to support myself?  Where will I live?  Could I afford to continue to live here, the place I love so much?  Will I be lonely?  Will sadness consume me?

I'm a survivor, I know that.  But, I'm also human with real fears like everyone else.

Today, I don't know where I'm at.  All I know is I think this blog is boring and wish I could offer you, my readers, more.

Unfortunately, this is all I have to offer.


  1. Dont be sorry, its not what you chose. As a reader I dont care that you post the same thing over and over, I come to your blog to read and then pray for you. It's ok that it's not exciting stuff. This is your blog, your space to write about your life. On days I visit your blog and there is nothing written I just pray everything is ok.
    It's you space, keep writing and I will keep praying :)

  2. I don't think you owe your blog readers anything more than what is real. Thank you for your transparency. A lot of people wouldn't take that risk. I know I wouldn't. But bless you for doing so.

    On a completely separate note, I just heard something recently that I'd never heard before on coconut oil. I imagine it's likely been mentioned to you. I don't pretend that I know anything. I just feel compelled to pass it on & you can do what you want with it. You can refer to the following to web sites for futher info: