Whew, it's been a weekend. Glad to see a new week beginning. Spent most of Saturday morning at the hospital, visiting Summer and Jordan. Then, home for a shower, church and Kristen getting baptized. Came home, late dinner, vegged in front of the TV.
Now, back to "normal".
Husband is OK. Not good, not bad. His walking has become more unsteady. His feet are more floppy than usual. As I watched him walk yesterdy, it reminded me of when people wear the swim fins. His feet are just flopping as he walks now. Just as he was falling asleep last night, he jerked so hard he almost fell out of bed. Scared me. I asked if he was OK, mumbled something about his toe getting caught in the blanket. After that, there were more suttle jerks lasting about 30 minutes or so. This has been happening alot lately. Once he falls asleep, the jerking seems to stop. All part of the process.
Friday, when Summer was having Jordan, I got to be a normal person. I got to be with normal people. I got to have normal conversations. When I would talk to people, they listened, not with a blank stare, but listened and understood what I said. I can honestly say, I really enjoyed that. How I have missed that. I didn't realize how much until I was away from husband, that I crave having a conversation with normal people.
Then I come home and reality hits me smack in the face. I come home, excited about the birth, telling husband how good Summer did, how beautiful Jordan is. And I look at his face. Vacant stare. And it hits me. He doesn't understand anything I am saying. Back to my world.
Could it be that's why I talk my fool head off at the clerk in the grocery store? Could it be that I actually talk to telephone solicitors? I am so hungry for normal conversations, desperate even. I sometimes wonder what these people think of me. Must think I'm crazy. I am. Crazy for normal.
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