Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Saturday, June 29, 2013


I have been having crazy dreams.  Meaningful, but, still crazy.  I am going to chalk it up to the stress I've been under.

On Thursday night, I had a dream about husband.  In this dream, there were people sitting at a bunch of tables.  It may have been a party, I can't remember.  Then, husband and I entered this party and all heads were turned towards us.  I heard gasps and watched as the people in my dream became envious of us, a couple in love, devoted to one another.

We were younger in this dream and husband was full of life.  He stood tall, smiling the smile that captured my heart so many years ago.  He looked down at me, eyes shining, looking so proud.  I looked up at him and said, "Look, they are all so jealous."  He laughed.  That laugh I haven't heard in so long.  I never felt so at peace as I did in this dream.

When I woke up, it was still dark.  I savored this dream, knowing it was a dream, but, wanted to keep it fresh in my mind.  Oh, it was such a nice dream.  I stretched, moved a little, then, turned towards husband. 

I forgot.  He's no longer beside me.  He is in a hospital bed, I have my own bed now.  And, there, in the darkness of my bedroom, with a soft glow of the night light from our bathroom coming through, was my husband.  The one in my dream who stood so tall, who walked so proud, who smiled so beautifully.

Sound asleep, jerking here and there, coughing, breathing heavily and his mouth wide open.

Talk about a reality check.

Ah, such is life.

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