Not much going on here. I cleaned house yesterday while husband dozed in his scooter chair.
I was going to wait until we moved in August to put husband in a hospital bed, but, with recent falls out of bed in the middle of the night, I have decided to put him in one this week.
I mentioned it to him yesterday. He actually understood me, and said he did not need a hospital bed. He's like that. Will disagree, then, once he gets used to the idea, it's OK.
This will be a big step for him, like when he went to the wheelchair. Or, putting him in diapers. It's just one more adjustment. But, oh, I will sleep better once he is safe and sound, in a bed that can contain him.
He took a long nap in the afternoon. With the house screaming clean, I sat outside. One of my neighbors was at the duck pond wandering around. She is a real crack up, but, nice as well. She always puts a smile on my face. She saw me sitting outside and came over.
She was married for 35 years, raised 3 girls and is a grandma to 5. 1 1/2 years ago, her husband divorced her and moved to California. Now, this lady was a stay at home mom, never worked a day in her life. They owned their own home in the mountains. Her life was turned upside down. She couldn't stay in their home, couldn't afford the mortgage. She had to find a job and a place to live quick.
Today, 1 1/2 years later, she works and has her own apartment. She came out of it, a little worse for the wear, but, she managed to create a whole new life for herself.
We sat on my porch for about 2 hours. Talking. Laughing. Crying. Of course, she knows about husband and asked me, "With your husband dying, how can you sit here so calm, laughing and carrying on? You are always so nice to everyone, saying good morning to people as they walk by? I would be sitting in my apartment crying all day long."
I turned to her and said, "How can you sit here laughing when your husband walked out on you after 35 years of marriage? Left you practically homeless and penniless? Your whole life turned upside down?"
We both laughed at our similar situations. Neither one of us had a choice or say in the matter. We have been left with what we are left with. But, both of us decided that life didn't end with a diagnosis or divorce. While our lives are different now, it's still a life. While we are the same, everything else has changed.
Yes, we have overcome a lot. While we both agreed that we have some battle scars, we are still here and kicking. We refuse to give in and let grief overtake us.
My, it was a good afternoon. Yes indeed.