Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Monday, June 17, 2013

"What's Father's Day?"

Father's Day did not go so smoothly.  Husband began hallucinating in the afternoon and it has not let up.

He started packing some of his stuff, saying he wanted to go home.  Tried talking to him softly, reassuring him that we were home.  He was having none of it.

Took him outside on the porch after dinner.  He kept saying how beautiful our backyard was.  We don't have a backyard.

I asked him if he had a good Father's Day, kids called, especially Jack.  He said, "Jack?  Who's that?"

Told me he doesn't know why I keep asking him about Father's Day.  "What's Father's Day?"

He is still in his own world, but, seems calmer. 

He slept pretty good.  I didn't.  Kept checking on him.  His breathing is getting rough.  Labored even.  He now sleeps with his mouth wide open.

When I woke up this morning, I immediately looked over at husband.  There he was, hands folded across his chest, eyes wide open, staring into space.  Didn't even flinch when I stood over him.

Today will keep me on my toes, for sure.

I just know it's going to be one of those days.

I need to dig deep today. 

I don't want to do this.

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