I don't know what is up with this blog program. My post title yesterday was "no". What? Oh well.
I had a mini break down yesterday. I just got so tired and hot. We have had rain for the last two weeks, so, not only is it hot, it's also very humid. I don't do humidity.
Trying to organize with husband has been challenging. He kept getting in my way, I kept putting him back in his wheelchair or his bed, he would continually get back up and come see what I was doing.
Then, he started in on the moving truck. He thought I was going to put the car in the truck and became upset that with the car in the truck, there wouldn't be enough room for our furniture. After explaining for the umpteenth time how I was going to tow the car and drive the truck, (I can't find anyone to help me drive the damn truck up there, so, I'll drive myself) he would be fine, then, go off again.
He also can't understand how I know how to do rent a truck, load a truck AND DRIVE THE TRUCK.
Because he can't do any of these things anymore, he thinks I can't either.
By the afternoon, I had given up. I will wait for him to take a good long nap this week and do what I have to do.
I vented. I slammed things. I opened and closed the dishwasher with a little force. I spoke to the thin air. I shed some tears. I felt sorry for myself that I have to do this alone. I yelled at the dog. The pone rang, I ignored it. I unplugged the phone. For hours. I made an espresso and went outside. I sat there shaking. I was angry, sad and a complete mess.
It took me some time before I calmed down.
Last night around ten, I realized that it was so quiet in my house. Husband and the dog were asleep, both on his bed. I glanced at the phone. Yikes!! I had not plugged the phone back in.
So, there I was, sitting in my living room, a dying husband asleep, my house in an uproar, trying to get organized, trying to get moved, trying, trying and more trying.
And, I laughed. A hard, gut wrenching, husband's gonna die, so much to do kind of laugh.
Ah, yes, laughter, good for the Soul, eh?