Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Monday, July 15, 2013

The madness of it all

Oh, night terrors.  They are something.  Up and down, all night long with husband.  Hallucinations.  Crazy.  Terrible.  Scary.  Frustrating.  Exhausting.

We had a beautiful thunder storm last night.  Husband was settled(?) in for the night.  He wasn't asleep, just laying there, quietly.  When the rain and wind came up, I opened up the bedroom window so fresh air could come in.

Soon, I heard husband get up and was speaking to,,,,,,,,,,,no one.  I went in the bedroom and there he was, bending over my bed, trying to get to the open window.  He said some people told him to close it because all his stuff from the nightstand was flying out the window.

I've learned not to ask, "what people?"  I talked him down, or so I thought. 

And that was just the beginning of my night.

With barely 3 hours of sleep under my belt, here I am. 

When will this madness end?  My poor husband, looking so frightened and helpless.  He drools now, just wanted to put that out there.  He has completely slipped from all reality and all he has ever known.

He knows nothing anymore.

Watching him eat makes my stomach turn.  Food falls out of his mouth.  He doesn't know how to use a fork or spoon anymore.  I have to cut his meat for him.  You have to coax him to hold his drink.  I have to wipe his face when he's done eating.  Clean his hands.  Ask him if he's full?  He doesn't know what that means.  Ask him if he's hungry?  Doesn't know that one either.  Ask him if he enjoyed his meal?  Knows not what you ask.

Folks, if you pray for me, and I know many of you do, please pray that his journey is almost over for husband.  That's enough. 

Ready or not for me, the end is coming.  It's time.  I've had enough.  He's had enough.

It's all just too much this morning. 


  1. Praying for you Sunney Sue.

    I've been reading every day but not commenting as I just can't find any words that may make any difference at all. But, I can pray for you and your husband, and let you know that there is a "friend" out here in internet-land who holds you her heart.

    Becky (

  2. SunneySue,
    I too, have been reading your blog for probably at least a year and a half now and could never find the right words to comment. But, I have been praying for you, your husband and your family for a very long time. You are the strongest, caring, loving most courageous woman I have ever known. I will continue to keep your entire family in my prayers. Hugs to you.
    Your friend in Oklahoma,

  3. I, like the other two commenters, have been reading for a long while. I never know what to say, either. I have, many many times, wanted to write something, anything, to bring you some comfort. Instead, I pray. I pray, thanking God for "bringing" me to your blog; I thank God that your husband has such a wife, whose love surpasses any wedding vow I can imagine anyone could make; I ask God to give me guidance, wisdom, and the ability to show compassion for others (especially, my mother who has also fallen prey to the evils of Alzheimer's). And, as always, I pray that God will continue to wrap His loving arms around you, and comfort you as only He can. Thank you, so much, for giving us a glimpse into your world. You have absolutely no idea how much you have inspired me (and many others, I am sure) and influenced me. I can only hope you can take some comfort in my words. With much love and prayers, Laralee (