Thank you for the comments. It's nice to know that the decisions I make are upheld by readers like you. I no longer have a husband, its just me making all these decisions. It's not easy when I want to do what's best for him as well, but, have no input from him because of Alzheimer's.
I get a little sad when I think of Colorado and my longing to live there. But, once I put aside MY desires and instead, listened to God, it all fell into place.
Unfortunately, the new tenant wants this unit. He was quoted a great price per month, (as I was when we moved here) and doesn't want to switch. Can't blame him, it is a good price.
This apartment is a basic apartment. No bells or whistles here. But, they did offer me another one that is just 6 apartments down the way that is exactly like this one, only it comes with a washer & dryer. Yay. My view will be trees and grass. No pond with the beautiful fountain, but, it still is very pretty. There is an Aspen tree that I can watch change colors in the fall. My favorite tree of all.
Of course, the rent is more with the washer & dryer, but, I will still be here, and, as one of the girls in the office pointed out, no more hauling dirty clothes to the laundry room in the winter time. She had me sold there.
I don't know when I can move there, as my lease expires here next month. May have to stay until then, which is fine by me.
Husband is OK with all of this. Of course, I have put him through a lot of confusion last week with, "We're going, we're staying," then, "we're going, oh no, wait, we're staying." It was enough to put me over the edge, but, he dealt with it OK.
Frankly, I don't think he even realized what was happening. He's that far gone.
As my one neighbor said last night, "I don't like the idea of you not being next to me, but, you know if anything happens to husband, I'm only down the pathway."
Also, and this is a big one. If husband passes, I will still be able to pay my rent here and make it on my own. That is always in the back of my mind. I need that stability and peace of mind. I have to be able to make it on my own.
I don't like all this grown up stuff. I don't like having to bare this weight on my own. I miss my old life, with a healthy husband, both of us holding down good jobs, loving summer time with camping and fishing. BBQ's, with husband at the grill.
Yes, I miss it all. I am emerging stronger and better than before. But, I can still long for the good ole' days.
Because, they were that good!