No news on the job hunt. I was almost positive I would get some calls yesterday. Oh well, have to keep applying, eventually, one will come through. It takes time, I know, am trying to stay positive.
Went to my Dr yesterday for a check up. Blood pressure was in the normal range, (a first for me), but my pulse was high. Go figure. I talked with my Dr about the possibility of going on some anti depressants. He did not feel comfortable in giving me any kind of drug for what I am going through. He said that the side affects could be worse than the actual stress I am under. Just sitting there talking with him made me feel better. This appointment was all about me, and me only. He knows about husband, he is his primary Dr as well. He examined him in 2009 and knew something was wrong, he actually thought he had a brain tumor.
I had to keep reminding myself this was MY appointment, not husbands'. It was about me and how I am handling all of this. He reminded me I needed to take care of me first, otherwise, I will be no good to husband or anyone else for that matter. Said he could see I was stressed, "Under severe stress", were his actual words. But, offered me other avenues to take versus any anti depressant. I will take his advice. I also told him about the heaviness I have in my head. He smiled and said, "I am not surprised."
He got very serious and told me that what I am dealing with is one of the most devastating diseases and takes a toll on the family. He advised me to look into Respite Care, available through Social Security. Said I could come in anytime if I needed him, just to talk or cry. Said he is available to me 24/7, even if it was after hours, just call his service and he would call me back.
All in all, I felt better when I left. I love my Dr and know he has my best interest at heart.
On the Dementia side, confusion has been the only word I can say. Husband has been locked in his own world for awhile now. But, even with his confusion, he told me he watched the State of the Union Address last night on TV. Said it was very interesting. Now, this man cannot even understand how to operate his remote control anymore, cannot tell his left foot from his right, cannot answer the phone anymore, but, he watches the State of the Union Address? I don't know folks, you got me.
We go see Dr A today. I hope he got my email. I told my Dr yesterday what I had done, he said if needed, he would put in a request to the state of NM and have his license revoked. I hope his appointment goes well. This man surprises me, he may be just fine, mind wise, when we see his Neurologist today. You just never know with this disease.
So, here we go, off to another Dr appointment. I'll get to hear all about what stage we are in in this process, I'll once again be informed on who to call in case of emergency, what to do in case a major seizure happens, how to prepare myself for the worst, and, the final one, always, "Mrs Lucero, there is no good outcome".
Yeah, I get that.