Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Friday, March 2, 2012

If walls could talk

Moving should be left to the professionals. Ugh. Old house is showing emptiness, new house is beginning to show love and life. Tonight is our last night here.

As I was unpacking in the new place yesterday, so many memories came to mind. I just want to be out of this house for good. It's not the house, it's what transpired in this house that I want to be away from. I want it all behind me. I want to close the door on this house that held so much heartache. The symptoms, the failing memory, the falling, the fear that set in in 2009, the questions, and, then, the diagnosis.

Yes, I want it all behind me now. OK, so husbands' going to die. OK, I get it. I associate this house with what's wrong with husband. So funny how we associate things with bad news.

I remember our family dog, Frauline. She was a big, fat Doberman Pincher. A gentle dog, she thought she was one of the kids. When my mom took her to the vet and they put her to sleep, I was with my mom, eating a banana. After they put her to sleep, I did not another banana for years. So, you see? I associated my beloved dog dying with eating a banana. Same as this house. This is where we lived when husband was diagnosed. I want to leave this house for good.

Thankfully, I have had a lot of help this week. Kristen's friend, Wayne has been taking loads this entire week. Washer & dryer was taken yesterday. It's almost done.

Husband has been driving me NUTS this week. He can't help it, but, it's still driving me nuts. He insisted on staying with me ALL DAY yesterday at the new place. Oh, that was fun. On the way home I mentioned that I would be doing all final touches tomorrow, (today), he said he would come with me, again. I said "NO", stay home and rest. In other words, I need a break from him today. Too much to do. Kristen and I will knock out the rest, husband will stay home. I've kept Jack out of school today, he is going to help husband with the tools.

When I told Jack this, he said, very sarcastically, "Gee, thanks mom". I replied back with a very sweet, motherly, loving tone, "Oh, you're welcome sweetie". We then started to laugh. He's a handful, that husband of mine. And, you gotta laugh when you can.

I don't know when I'll post again. Cable will be transferred tomorrow, and, if I have any strength left, I'll try to post tomorrow night.

Until then, pray for a smooth move, no sudden seizures and, no getting lost in the new neighborhood. I know the neighborhood, he knows the neighborhood, it's just that he forgot that he knows it!!


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