Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

A noisy Christmas Day

Christmas morning started out rough, but, ended well.  Husband had been in a mood for a few days.

I decided to let him have his moment, then told him he could stay in the bedroom and be miserable, or, he could join the rest of the family once they got here and be a part of the family.  With that, I left him in the room and soon, he came out and was fine.

So, for the rest of the day, well, it was great.  I cooked, they all ate and swore I make the best stuffing, mashed potatoes and apple pies.  Husband ate well.

I didn't tell anyone he had had a bad morning.  I just went with the flow.  He laughed and I could tell he was enjoying himself.  "The look" was there all day, but, he did fine.  I heard a lot of "remember when..........", glanced at husband, and he would be nodding his head, which is a sign to me that he does not remember or understand what they are saying, but, being polite, he would nod his head.  He also laughed a lot.

So, Christmas 2012 was a success!  My husband was happy.  I laughed a lot too.  It was great to have family here.  This house is usually so quiet.  I sometimes miss the noise of family.  My heart was full.

OK, got the two major holidays out of the way.  Moving day, here we come.  Pat & Tyler will help and a family friend with the truck will help.  Not much to move, as I have gotten rid of so much.  It will be an adjustment, this small apartment, but, I'm more interested in the finance side of things.  Just have to be able to make it from month to month.

A new year is coming.  A new start.  I don't know what this year will bring.  My husband is fading away, but, I know deep in my heart that he will one day, be at peace.

Once all is said and done, I know I would have done the best I could do for him.  And, sometimes, doing all I can for husband now is good enough.


  1. Love the lift in your spirits. No matter how sad or hopeless things seem Christmas can be magically and can be bright.

  2. Sunney Sue,

    You are right - it IS good enough. And you are also right when you said, "I know deep in my heart that he will one day, be at peace."

    I cared for my mom at home when she was dying. She had a brain tumor and as things progressed, caring for her was like caring for a one year old - loss of physical and mental abilities. It seems like every day she lost something else... very hard to witness. Very difficult to become the mom.

    ---- BUT ----

    It WAS good enough. She was happy because she was surrounded by the love of her family. She wasn't alone. In the midst of all of the medical yuck, it was a Blessing to care for her. I still have that to hold on to... and, by and by, I now see caring for her in that way was a privilege.

    --- AND ---

    I remember specifically the realization of what you said about one day he will be at peace. In the end, my mom was in a coma at the hospital. My then husband called to tell me she had passed away, so my brother and I were on our way to the hospital, late at night and in the middle of a blizzard. All of a sudden, this HUGE WAVE of peace came over me and I said to my brother, "She is Home!" It was joyful, Sunney Sue! It was peaceful and wonderful and a relief to know she was in God's Hands. No longer sick, but HAPPY HAPPY in Heaven.

    It's been 21 years since she's been gone. The knowledge of knowing I did "the best I could do" for my mom has helped me every single day. And the joy of her being in Heaven made my grief diminish one hundred fold.

    I hope it's the same for you. In the midst of your current "darkness" it is hard to see that light. I pray for your strength to keep doing the best you can do. It IS enough.