Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Monday, December 10, 2012

Hurry January

We had a quiet weekend.  The arctic cold air promised on Friday night hit with full force.  It was 8 degrees this morning.  Bitter, bitter cold.

Father in law came over Saturday to get husband's tools to store for us.  We will have no room in the apartment.  He brought us some firewood.  I burned it all yesterday.  A nice, steady fire all day and into last night.  the only thing I will miss will be the fireplace.

I dreaded calling my landlord and giving him my notice to move.  At first he was not happy, but, as we talked he said he completely understood, knew that I was going through a very hard time and said he understood.  I offered to show the house.  He was grateful for that.  I hope it rents out quickly as he is one heck of a nice guy.

He has offered to buy my washer/dryer, stove & fridge.  One fell swoop!!   Yay.  We cut a deal.  He said he would be by today.  I hope he does buy all, that way I don't have to mess with appliances when we move.

Husband has been hard to handle this weekend.  It all started Friday night when he called me into the bedroom.  He was very upset.  He had an accident and wet his pants.  He told me a little girl was in the bathroom and taking too long and he couldn't hold it, so, he wet his pants.  I got out clean underwear for him, a clean towel, he took a shower and got into bed.  Later, it hit me.  A little girl in our bathroom?  Who was that?  Delusional?  Probably.

Difficult on Saturday with husband.  He forgot he took a shower Friday night, took another one Saturday morning.  Forgot he took one in the morning, took another that afternoon.  Took another one Saturday night.  Took one last night and is in the shower right now.  Oh well, he's clean.

I've noticed memory lapses more pronounced this weekend.  Talk on the phone with someone, tell him about it, then the next few minutes he would ask me if I had heard from so and so.  The same person I had just gotten off the phone with.  Exhausting for me.

I heard him talking in the bedroom yesterday afternoon.  A few short sentences, then, it was silent.  I don't know if he had "visitors" or what, but, he was speaking to "someone".  Went in the bedroom, he was watching TV.  He smiled at me and asked what was for dinner.

There are days and then there are days.  It's one big question mark all day, every day.  Once we get moved, Home Health Care will come 2-3 days per week.  It is then I will escape, go to Starbucks, have an espresso, window shop, talk to people who remember what I just said.  I will breathe fresh air.  I will be able to relax, somewhat.  I will try to act like normal people act.  I will be free, for a few hours each week.  Free!!

Oh yes, not only is this move a smart financial one,  it's also a good move for me.  I will be able to feel like a real person again.  Go where I want, do what I want.

And to think, all I have to do is, get through this month!!


  1. So glad you are moving in so many ways. SO GLAD about you getting help. My mother should have done that. When we adopted our special needs son we didn't get any respite for 5 years. We needed that so much. We did get some help for it but most out of our pocket but it was so needed. I smiled when you said he was in the bathroom watching TV and smiled and you and wanted to know what was for dinner. It has to be so hard to not know what he will be like from day to day or moment to moment. (((((HUGS))))

  2. Hang in there. You are remarkable.