Another really cool morning. Someone, (Jack ? Kristen ?) turned on the cooler after I went to sleep, left it on all night. Jeez, it's freezing in here. I wanted to wake them up and yell, but, decided not to. It would wake up husband, then my long day would be even longer.

I BBQ'd yesterday. Husband sat at the patio door and "instructed" me on how to BBQ. I had to clench my jaw to keep my mouth quiet. I have always been one to just tackle something, no instructions, no directions, just do it. He, on the other hand, needed to "read up" on it, study it, then do it. Anyway, the BBQ was absolutely delicious, with no leftovers. Ha!!

For two days, husband has not slept most of the day. Don't know what is up with that. There has been some stabilization, somewhat. Memory has been OK. Walking has been more and more unsteady. Insisted on getting the mail yesterday, went out in just socks to the mailbox. I told him to use the walker or at least put your shoes on, but no, went out the way he wanted to. You know that commercial that shows people who are off balance because of issues, one where it looks lke they are walking sideways? Picture that along with some spasticity in the legs and you have husband now. Pitiful.

I want to get him a better pair of shoes. Maybe that'll help? Don't know. The shoes he has are New Balance, but because of his spastic gait, he wears shoes down in no time.

I spend my days thinking of ways to help and aid in his walk. Mainly, THE WAuLKER WILL HELP YOU WALK. It's going to take a real good fall, then, and maybe then, he will start using the walker. Stubborn.

Like I said, he has been more or less OK this week. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop though. It's coming, sneaks up on you, then, wham, kinda like pie in your face. Off we go to Never Never Land. Sometimes it's like cold reality, sometimes it's funny. Just. Never. Know. One thing's for sure, it keeps you on your toes.

Today will be a good day, I hope. I like these good days, but, it also spoils you just a little bit. Just when you think it's OK, you are suddenly slapped with a sudden dose of reality that this is real, it's really happening, he won't come out of this one kind of feeling and dread, makes you just deflate. Think, it was so nice while it lasted.

I just need to be grateful for these fleeting moments. One day, even that will be gone.