Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the men out there. A very special shout-out to all the military fathers who can't be home with their children because they are protecting us in various parts of the world.

My husband woke up early this morning. He has been excited for this day. Kind of like a child, anticipating being the Birthday Boy. I will make the day special for him.

Since the beginning of this year, I have thought, "What will next year this time be like?" Our Wedding Anniversay, his Birthday and now, Father's Day. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. Now, the 4th of July is coming up and I can't help but think of next year this time. Will he be gone? Will he still be here, but gone in his mind? No one knows. Oh, if only I could turn off this kind of thinking.

This disease is so fickle. One minute, he's fine, the next, not so fine. It keeps you on your toes, that's for sure. Can get fixated on something so small, but, in his mind, it's a big problem. There are moments that I don't know if I'm coming or going.

Take for instance, last night and this morning. His remote for his TV would not turn off the TV, only the cable box. I played with it last night, eventually turning off the TV manually. He became obsessed with this "problem", with him finally falling asleep. This morning, that's all he can talk about, his remote. Wants me to take it to the cable company, get it fixed, he says. Told him the cable office is closed today, it's Sunday. He seems quite upset about it. He focuses on the "problem", and just won't let it go. It's a remote for crying out loud, but, in his mind, it's just too much for him to bear. And, I have to live with that until tomorrow, when I can take it in to be "fixed".

So, here's to all the women out there, who have healthy husband's, who will haved a fun filled day, family time. I, on the other hand, will spend my day explaining to him (many, many times) that the cable office is closed and I cannot take his remote in to get "fixed" today.

He will have his "special" day today. He will eat one of his favorite foods, get the special treatment. He will fall asleep early, probably, and I will be left alone with my thoughts of "Where will he be next year this time?"