Been 2 days since I've posted. I have been at a loss for words lately. So much is happening.
Since Wednesday, husband has been on a downward spiral. He is fast approaching a fine line between reality and his own delusional world. It has just happened so fast, I am finding it hard to catch my breath. I am still reeling.
Father in law came by Thursday. He wanted to take husband for the day. As husband was in the bathroom, father in law began to cry. He asked me have I noticed how bad husband has gotten? He also said he is having a hard time with all of this, stating he cannot go through another nightmare like he did with husband's mom. He told me that this is not fair to all concerned, then cried out, "What about Jack? Please, please, don't let him get this, oh God, no."
I have never seen him this way. I soothed him, all the while, my heart could be heard shattering for blocks.
Husband came out of the bathroom, oblivious to what I had just experienced.
Husband had a good day with his dad. I guess. I asked him, he looked confused and said he thought so. Asked him if he ate, he said he thought so.
I took husband to the pool yesterday, mid-morning. A little boy that lives down our street and that I occasionally babysit for was there. He watched husband come in the gate with his walker. He came up to me and asked, "Hey Sue, what's wrong with him?" I explained that his legs don't work anymore.
He looked at me with those great big blue eyes and said, "Well, his batteries are dead. He needs new ones, Sue." With that, off he went into the pool. I looked at husband, he had no idea what we had said, even with him being not 2 feet away from us. Husband looked at me with that vacant stare, smiled and began watching the little boy in the pool.
Oh, I wish it were that easy, sweet boy.