Surprise!!

Not much news on the Home Front. Husband continues to decline, I am still looking for a job. Don't know, maybe I am not supposed to get a job? With this sudden decline of husband, maybe it's Gods' way of letting me know how much I am needed at home. Am re-thinking this job search. If that's the case, then so be it. Yes, the extra money is much needed, but, with the recent turn of events, what do I do?

Husband spent the day with his dad. Was nice for me. I caught a breather. I did my laundry. When he came home, he seemed quiet. Didn't say much as he ate dinner. His dad gave him a bag of potatoes. Husband thought that was such a good thing. I guess so. Thanks for the potatoes.

Jack was in better spirits when he got home from school. Tish & Jace called last night with a surprise for him. He will be flying the day after Christmas to visit them for 1 week. I am thankful for them. They are concerned for Jack as I am. This morning, before he left for school, he was much better. When Jack is happy, I can relax a little.

Husband is still asleep. Alot of jerking last night, kept me awake for a few hours. When this happens, he seems to sleep longer in the morning. I am tired this morning.

We had one "episode" last night. He was frustrated about his dresser drawyer. He will not let me put his clean clothes away, has to do it himself. One of the drawyers got stuck. He seemed on the verge of tears. I tried to help, he got angry at me. I then said to him, "You need to stop, I am trying to help you". He calmed down after that. I let him "fix" the drawyer himself. He can be difficult to say the least.

I hope today will be a quiet day with husband. It's all I ever want. Just no "episodes" please, no going into the Land of Dementia, please. If I could have that for just 1 day, well, what a day that would be.

Of course there will be "episodes", of course he will travel to that dark place. He does it all the time now. It's now another new "normal" for me.

Why, oh why does it take me by surprise then?