It's early in the morning. Everyone is asleep. I made my espresso and am enjoying the quiet.
We had a low key day yesterday.
Husband was outside puttering around in the afternoon. When he came in the house he told me, "My legs are doing funny things". I looked, he was having tremors in his legs. I had never seen them tremor that much before. I had him lay down to rest. He asked me what that meant, what was happening to him. I told him he probably had been on his feet too much, to rest and it would be fine. He was scared, said he didn't like this. Here's where my "acting" skills come in and I assured me he would be fine.
He seemed to calm down after a bit. A little confused, but not to the extent that it had been lately. I made a nice dinner, he ate very little.
Jack spent the entire evening with his dad. They watched some TV together and played with the dogs. I could hear husband laughing, I could hear Jack laughing. It was almost normal again.
For the past few weeks, husband has been hearing "voices". Actually, it's my voice he says he hears. He will come out and say, "Did you just tell me that we had to get ready to go somewhere?" When I say no, he says, "Well, I just heard you holler that I needed to get up so we could go".
So, the hallucinations have begun. It started out small, but, as the days have gone by, it's happening more and more. I will hear him yell out, go in, check on him. He will be sound asleep. I don't think I'll like this stage. It's scary for him because once he realizes it was nothing, he seems to get very quiet.
Husband had a rough night of sleep. The tremors lasted for several hours, followed by choking. The tremors will start in his feet, move up his body, stop suddenly, then, he coughs/chokes. This happens about every 30-45 seconds for a few hours. He must be asleep when this happens, because I have asked him if he remembers that happening to him, he does not. So, I assume he is asleep. I hope he is. It's not a pretty sight. All the while I lay there thinking, "Is this the big one?"
We see Dr Q on the 1st of December at his new practice. It will be like visiting an old friend. He was the first of the Specialists we saw when we began this journey in January of 2010. He was also the first Dr to deliver the devastating news to us that husband indeed was going to die. Never before in a Dr's office had I felt so much compassion as I did that spring day in 2010. He is a wonderful Dr and am looking forward to seeing him again.
A big shout out to all the recent comments and words of encouragement. Thank you for those comments. When I read them, it gives me a smile. I don't smile much lately, but when you get a comment from a complete stranger, well, it warms my heart.
Thank you all again.