Husband is up early. Off to get his braces today. He is excited. I hope they help in his walking. I'll try anything short of putting him in a wheelchair.
Have to take Jack to school early, then, off to the hospital. I am hoping for positive results.
Found out Susie has not lost the baby. Seems she has cysts which is causing her pain. I am taking her in for blood test today to see where her HCG levels are. Please pray they have doubled. If they have, she did not miscarry. I talked with her last night, she is so scared. I hope my talk with her helped. I pray the baby was not lost.
Tomorrow, I am volunteering at church to deliver Christmas presents to poor families. It'll help me. I want to see joy on those little kids' faces. I want them to see the miracle of what Christmas really is. I want to give them hope.
Maybe, just maybe, if I see their little faces light up, it will give me hope in my own life. I would love to see husbands' face light up again. Only, there is no light left. At times, his eyes will have a small but distinct sparkle, but, then it's gone.
If I can't see life in husband, I will see it in precious children who would have no Christmas were it not for our church. I will smile and laugh with those children. I will pass out presents with joy and sadness in my heart. Joy, that I am able to at least pass out presents, and, sadness that my husband is dying and I am not able to do anything about that.