Thursday, December 29, 2011
Husband continues a slow but steady decline. I've noticed it a lot the past few days. He doesn't seem agitated, just falling deeper and deeper into the world of Dementia. We have laughed, joked and talked a lot. But, there is no recollection later on. I started to take stock last night. Thinking back to the last few days. We saw an old friend on Tuesday. She looks exactly the same as 20 years ago. Husband did not recognize her. Said she had changed drastically. I could've picked her out of a crowd, that's how much she has not changed. I didn't say anything to husband. Pat's boys came for the holiday. He couldn't remember Byron's name. He asked me what is the due date for our car insurance. I told him. Then, he asked me again and again and again. He has asked me each day what day is it. I tell him throughout the day. He is rather pleasant, does not seem agitated or confused, just seems to have drifted to the "other side". I don't know if he'll come out of it. Will he snap back? Probably. This time, though, is different. He is so calm, almost, too calm. He has been fixated on buying a mobile home. Said we could do it. I calmly explained to him we have no money to buy a mobile home. He looked so wounded, like a child. Continues to talk about buying a mobile home. Wants to go look at mobile homes. Asks me every day, "Can we go look at mobile homes?" I don't like telling him no, but, he doesn't understand anymore about money and finances. He just looks so sad, then shuffles away. That's sad. I am dealing with it OK. Proud of the way I have been reacting to this decline. I take it all in stride. Can't do anything about it, so I just go with it. Have no choice anyway, but to deal with it. I am glad to see 2011 end. 2011 has not been kind to me. I don't know what 2012 will bring, but just want to get this year over with. Onto a new year.