Horrible Bosses

Do you ever wake up and wonder? Just wonder? I do. Some mornings I wonder about all the what if's, what was and what will be. I wonder how I got here, I wonder if I am doing the right thing, I wonder if I am heading in the right direction; I wonder about a lot of things.

I worked with a woman who went to church and said she was a Christian. She and her husband owned the company I worked for. She was one of the sweetest bosses I had had so far.

One day, while talking with a co-worker I mentioned that I thought S was a great person, sweet, just the greatest boss ever. She looked at me like I was nuts. She then informed me that one day, S would turn on me. She said she has worked for S on and off for the last 10 years. She had witnessed S in action. I didn't believe her. I soon drew away from this co-worker as I thought she had a bad case of bitters.

To make a long story short, S began to show her true colors. She fired some people who did not deserve to be fired. She would cut hours, mostly the girls in the office. Some of these girls were single parents, relying on their paychecks to support their families. The first time she turned on me was when I got invited out to lunch by my son. I covered for the Receptionist when she went to lunch, but, had asked her to go at a later lunch so I could have time with my son. The receptionist said OK, so, off I went to lunch.

When I returned, the receptionist was gone, the phones were ringing off the hook. When the receptionist got back, I asked her why she didn't wait for me to get back. She shrugged her shoulders, said she got hungry so she left.

The next morning, S came into my office and blasted me for going to lunch the day before. I tried explaining that I had made arrangements with the receptionist, but, she left before I got back. There was no explaining anything to her. This lady was on fire.

Soon after, I got an offer to go work for one of our competitors. I accepted. When I informed S of this, she said, "That's great. Your time is about up here anyway, it was time for you to leave." What????

A few weeks after I left, she fired one of the other girls who was a single parent. There was no reason to fire her, she was an excellent worker. Her excuse? Said she talked too loud, but she wouldn't fight her unemployment. That was big of her.

So, I wonder. I wonder what makes people the way they are? Does she ask for forgiveness when she does these awful things to people? Does she feel remorse for ruining other people's lives? If I was that kind of person, I don't think I could sleep at night. Sometimes I imagine seeing her in the store. What would I say to her? How would I act? Could I just walk by and not say anything? Or, would I tell her what I really think of her? How can she go to church? Does she act like a wonderful, sweet person at church? She may be a Christian. Not for me to judge.

I have a lot on my plate. Not only financial worries, but, this horrible disease my husband is suffering from. I just couldn't be hurtful to anyone. I just couldn't. Did something happen to her that made her the heartless person she is? I often think of her when I am most down. I would never, ever, want to turn into someone like her. That's scary.

I'd like to think God had me work there, knowing I would be going through all of this in a few years. He showed me what not to do when the going gets bad, really bad, like it is now. No, I will never be like S. To feel this kind of hurt I feel everyday? No, I would never want anyone to feel this.

Gee, I'm glad I'm me.