Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Friday, February 10, 2012

Garage Sale II & a Lunch Date

Not a whole heck of a lot going on. Preparing for Garage Sale II. Nothing but tools, tools and more tools. Husband seems to have come to terms with it. He was tired yesterday, going through HALF of what he has. I would do it for him, however, I don't know tools that well. He also has storage cupboards, filled with tools. Those are going up for sale as well. Only having it Saturday & Sunday because this is mostly for men.

Husband has slept good the last two nights. Yesterday afternoon, husband came to me and told me that his legs were doing funny things. I looked, and, they were tremoring. Kept a watch on him throughout the rest of the day and evening. They would tremor on and off. I know it's the progression of this disease, but could not say that to husband. So, I suggested he stay off his feet and rest. There were no tremors when I went to bed.

When his legs tremor, it's not a pretty sight. I don't like to look at it. It's scary to watch. And it scares me. Of course, I have to keep my emotions under control because he will watch my face for any sign of reaction. I keep it light, suggest resting, all the while acting as if nothing is wrong. I have to. For his sake.

He used the walker all day yesterday. He is getting around the house better and better. If I see that he is not using the walker, I go get it and tell him to use it. He has seemed more relaxed and at ease with the walker. Something he has to get used to using.

Memory is poor at best. He never knows what day it is. He does not know what month we are in. I don't think he knows what year it is either. He will ask, I will tell, then, he forgets.

This disease is really taking a toll on him now. We can all see it. He has declined rapidly. It's happening fast now. When I first quit work, he was still able to function, slow, but function. Oh, don't get me wrong, there were declines, but, they were slow and sneaky. Now, it's happening so fast that I reckon it to a wildfire, out of control.

Excuse this, but, I have to report it. He has also lost control of bladder and the other. It happened earlier this week and he cried. As I was cleaning it up, he apologized and just, cried. I told him it was OK, to not worry about it. He has a fear of leaving the house now, in case he loses control again. He doesn't say it, but, I know.

There will come a day when I have to put him in the Adult Diapers. Will I be able to handle this one? I will have to change my husband's diapers. What a thought. Makes me cringe even thinking about it now. Something to look forward to. Great. Can't wait.

I am having lunch with my old boss today. That'll be nice. So, for about 1 1/2 hours, I get to be a "normal" person again. I get to sit at table, relax, talk without having to repeat myself, enjoy a meal without worrying about spills, choking, bathroom breaks, questions and sitting across the table with someone who has eyes that see, comprehend and have life in them.

I then come home to husband who has none of the above. And my heart will break all over again with the reality of it all.

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