Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Saturday, February 4, 2012


My children were raised to share. Be kind and generous, even to a fault. They all are. Even Jack, who decided to kindly share his viral infection with me. This stuff is nasty. And, can't even go to the Dr because there is nothing they can do. So, while my beloved son is celebrating that he is now cured, I sit here and feel miserable. Oh well, let's just hope husband doesn't get it. He's miserable enough right now.

The inevitable happened. Got a letter from Motor Vehicles. They have revoked husband's license. It was a real blow to him. I breathed a sigh of relief, said a silent "Thank You", to the One above. Husband said that he was going to go see Dr A himself and kick his butt. I said, "OK". Then, he said he just was not going to go see Dr A ever again. I said, OK". Just be glad folks, that I didn't invite you to our house for dinner last night.

I had made Tish's chili recipe yesterday. I was craving hers. She gave me the recipe and I made it. Delicious. Made me feel a little better. Kristen went out on a date, Jack got invited to Pat & Christine's house to watch a movie and husband fell asleep. Around dinner time, I went into the kitchen, dished up some chili from the slow cooker and told the dogs, (who were at this time drooling) "Mama's gonna eat some. They don't know what they're missing", all the while, my dogs are wagging their tails, giving me the "Please Mother, may we have some?"

Husband woke up around 7, I offered to dish up some chili for him. He said no. He made a sandwich for himself. He came around after that. He's not happy, but, he has no choice.

Please know that I feel awful for him, but, to keep him safe, and others safe, it had to be done. Dr A didn't mess around.

As he sat last night talking to me, my heart really felt for him. He's a broken man now. First, he's told he cannot perform on the job anymore, next he's told he needs to see a Neurologist, then, he's put through a battery of tests, lasting 3 months. Then, Diagnosis Day. He's told he will die. He's told that there is no cure. Everything has been taken from him. The only thing he had left was his ability, or so he thought his ability, to drive. Well, that was taken from him by this monster as well.

I am hoping to get more calls on the truck. Had one yesterday, is still interested, but needs to see if he can find someone to install air conditioning in the truck. (It doesn't have AC) It pains husband to see his truck with a big For Sale sign on it. I know. But, it has to be done. I just want it gone. Once the truck is gone, I can close this chapter. Life will be different as we know it now. This phase we are entering into is the dreaded phase.

Husband has been stripped of his manhood. He now knows he can do nothing like he once did. Nothing. The cane is gone, replaced with the walker. His truck will be gone. Motor Vehicles revoked his license. He knows it's the beginning of the end, he knows.

And my heart cries out to God.

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