One holiday down, one to go. I went into this Thanksgiving day with intentions of making the day happy, making it relaxing and ignoring what is really happening in our house, totally ignoring Dementia.
Dementia had other plans for me. It reared it's ugly head full force and has not let up since. Husband has been on a downward spiral since Thursday morning. He has been delusional and angry.
I had posted earlier that he was freaking out about his tool for his tire changing set. Thursday morning he got up, dressed and asked me if Discount Tires was opened. I asked why, he said he needed to go get a new Jack for his truck. I told him it was Thanksgiving, they were closed, and, we had no money to get a new Jack. He insisted on going yesterday. He went, priced them out and asked me to get him one. I once again told him that I had no money, it would have to wait. He would have none of it.
Once we got home, he went to sleep and is still sleeping. He did get up to have a bowl of cereal, back to bed, back to sleep. He's still sleeping.
Once Dementia patients get fixated on something, there is no stopping them. Husband is no different. He will just not let up. He thinks I'm being mean to him. He thinks I deliberately hide money from him.
Thanksgiving night he asked me when Christmas is. He doesn't remember what day Christmas is anymore. I told him. He said, "I know you don't want to hear this, but, this will be my last Christmas. I'm going to die soon. I don't have much longer to live. I know it, you know it. Don't be sad, it is what it is". And with that, he went sound asleep.
I came out into the living room, my daughters were sitting on the couch, laughing and cuddling together. When they saw me, they both said, "Mommy!!!" I looked at those beautiful girls of mine. I put on my happy face and joined them on the couch. They asked if husband was OK, was he asleep. I nodded my head and said, "Oh yes, he's fine. He went to sleep". Good, they both said.
I kept hearing those words over and over all night long. His voice sounded different. He sounded like, "there, I said it" kind of voice. So...final.
He had his "visitors" last night. His speech was clear. He talked normal. He was having a conversation with someone.
So, so much for my "We're going to be thankful" kind of day. I tried, I really tried. But, we had an unexpected visitor.
Dementia came to dinner.
My Dad was like that about where he lived. He swore that he did live in the house where he did live. He said it was someone else's house and they needed to leave before that person came home. He never let up on that. When we would be home my husband would drive him to his "old" house hoping that was what he was talking about. They would drive by and he would light up. But 10 minutes down the road he would start up again.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that this is so hard. He sounds like he knows what's happening at least part of the time. Prayers.