Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Well, bible Study went swimmingly.  My "friend" did a 160 on me and was very charming.  Jackie had called me earlier in the day to apologize that she did not speak to E about her negative attitude towards me.  We agreed to let it be for now, however, J said she is now aware of it and will pay more attention to her.

I enjoyed myself.  But, God has a way of taking control.  This chapter we were studying was about "Holding your tongue".  When she was leaving, she gave me a hug.  Perhaps she realized what she had said last week, realized how it affected me?  Don't know.  Let's hope next week she doesn't flip again.  I'll take it for what it is, only, I sure was looking forward to handing her my shoes!!

Today is THE day.  Today my husband turns 47.  I have mixed emotions about this birthday.  I looked at him sleeping when I got up.  His facial features have changed somewhat.  He has developed a new thing.  When he sleeps, his eyes squint.  They eyes are not just closed, they are squeezed shut.  Bothers me.

He doesn't remember what this birthday means.  He doesn't realize that with his family history, in all probability, he will not live to see 48.  It's there, folks.  History is repeating itself once again.

In April of 2010, on Diagnosis Day, they told me 3 years tops.  That was 2 years ago.  Do the math.

Now, today, we are at that dreaded, crucial 47th year.

I will treat him like a king.  We will be "happy" it's daddy's birthday.  I will smile, laugh and joke with him.  He, oblivious to statistics, will love all the attention.

As I start this day, my heart is not in anyway happy.  It's broken.  But, "the show must go on", as they say.  He will be awake soon.

Time for "curtain call".

1 comment:

  1. Your Bible study update: amazing...

    I hope your birthday celebration was everything you hoped to make it be, despite the crushing reality it means to you...

    Today was my son's birthday today too. He turned 4...

    God bless you for everything you do (and have done) for your husband & family.