Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A Negative Nellie!

Life continues on.  Not much to report on.  Husband is OK, in and out of reality, but, OK, for now.

As I mentioned before, I hadn't gone to my regular Bible Study on Tuesday due to Jack taking the car to school.  But, now that he is out, I have attended for the last two weeks.  I did not mention that there is one woman who goes that is a very negative person.  How can I explain it?  Well, here goes.

She does not attend our church, but, I applaud her for attending this Bible Study every single week.  She is faithful to her lessons.  But, (yes, this is where the but comes in) she argues with everything I say, telling me I need to do this, or, I need to do that, or, how mean I am being to husband, saying she would never do this or that, all the while, asking the other ladies if they would handle a situation the way I did, making it sound as if I am just a mean person.   She makes me uncomfortable.  I can't help it, the woman makes me uncomfortable.

Yesterday, however, she crossed the line.  Without going into detail, she made me feel like a heel, belittled me in front of the other ladies and judged me.  I felt so exposed.  I kept on, but had to practically sit on my face to keep me from saying anything.  After the group had left, I stayed on and had to speak to J about this situation.

J agreed with me, said she was out of line, and said she would have a talk with her about her attitude toward me.  I finally told J that she has made me uncomfortable since day one.  I mentioned several things she has said to me since I began going.  I had to let it out.

This woman does not know me, but, continues to judge me on everything.  She doesn't have, nor ever had, a terminally ill husband.  She has never dealt with any loved one pertaining to Alzheimer's.  She does not walk in my shoes.  She does not know anything about Alzheimer's.

I will attend next week, and, if she continues to degrade me in front of others, I will drop this Bible Study.  I have enough negative in my life, dealing with husband and his illness.  I don't need to expose myself to more.

We both deserve to attend bible Study, but, I also want to feel comfortable in going.  At this point, I don't feel as if I should continue.

Am I wrong?


  1. No you aren't wrong. I suggest this knowing it would take the right moment for me to be able to do this BUT could you call her out on it in front of the others when she does this again. Just make some statement like, "I'm so sorry that you just don't understand." SOmething short and to th point. There might be something better to say but I would try my best to get the courage. How dare her critize you like that.(((((HUGS)))))

  2. I don't blame you for not wanting to continue. I would feel the same way! Having said that, perhaps God has a greater purpose he wants to accomplish through you that involves you staying in the group. You could only know by asking Him what to do. Perhaps he wants to use you to teach her about understanding and grace?? I don't know. It seems this woman needs to be confronted in truth & grace. I will pray God gives you wisdom in this. Follow His lead & you can't go wrong. I think you need this group of women and they need you! (And thank you again for putting yourself out there everyday for everyone to see! I respect you for your transparency & willingness to share.)